garfield....garfield. garfield. Garfield. garfield. no matter how many times i say that name, it still destroys me in side. the fact that not only is he gone, but that it was my fault.......i know. i Know that if he were here, he would not blame me. Garfield, so forgiving of all of my mistakes, he would not ask me to suffer. but he is not here, so i cannot begin to forgive myself. the  look in jons eyes as garfield was taken away...... no matter how much i hate him........... i cannot get it out of my mind. i did this. not only to jon, but to garfield. i always told myself that if i could not have him, jon could not either, but now that it is reality............Garfield. someday, i hope you are able to read this. I hope you know that I think about you every day, every night, every second of my life is filled with memories of you.

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I love you.

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